Should You Discuss Going Natural With Your Partner?
Now that the natural hair movement has picked up some serious steam it’s easy to be fooled into thinking that kinks and curls are now considered the norm across the nation. But not all women of color feel comfortable embracing their natural texture or even experimenting with textured protective styles. For some the hesitation is related to fear of judgement by their families. Others cringe at the thought of uncomfortable exchanges with their co-workers and supervisors. Many flinch at the thought of learning a new routine and the accompanying lingo (TWA, ACV, EVOO it’s enough to make your head spin.) But a select few hesitate out of concern for their significant others.
Now that social media has given everyone a platform people are able to express every idea that pops into their heads. And some of those ideas are a strong “preference” for women with relaxed hair.
On the surface going natural is purely an aesthetic choice but the unpleasant history associated with hair can make it a deeply personal one-with the potential for personal consequences.
In response to an inquiry by someone writing her advice column author and relationship expert Demetria Lucas D’oley advocated for communication between partners sharing the opinion that she unequivocally did not think women had to ask permission before doing the big chop but that it would be thoughtful of them to inform their significant others so they weren’t shocked by the sudden change to their appearance.
We asked Girl & Hair Founder Camille Vevoric if she consulted with her husband and eventual business partner before making the big chop that sparked the idea that birthed her line of undercare products. “No. Not at all!” she said “I literally got home and was like ‘I’m tired of this. I’m going up the street.’ I went up there and I cut my hair and I came home. My husband is not that involved. He’s never been vocal about my style. He says as long as you love it I love it.”
Clearly her husband’s approach represents the ideal but sadly not all men feel this way. It seems every few weeks there’s an article on Clutch or Madame Noire asking whether women's styling choices are required to stay within men's comfort zones (who could forget the outrageous debate over Keyshia Kaoir’s trend setting lipstick?)
What do you think? When it comes to your hair should bae get a say?
Photo Credits: Black Enterprise, Good Housekeeping, The Source